I’m not very well today. I thought I’d take the opportunity to talk about black and white thinking or “splitting” as it is called by professionals.
It’s not just people with BPD that experience splitting, other people can too. It basically means that everything is thought of in extremes. A love/hate sort of thing. I thought about it today because today nothing is right, everything is wrong with my life. There are no grey areas, everything is just awful. On other days everything is awesome. Just not today. Splitting happens all the time. If someone doesn’t text me back for ages I instantly think they hate me. I don’t instantly think that maybe they are busy or that they may have left their phone at home. Something simple and innocent doesn’t compute. It also happens with opinions. If I have an opinion on something I’m right and anyone that disagrees with me is wrong. I’ve stopped myself actually saying that I disagree with people because I don’t want the arguments. I also know rationally that this thinking is unhealthy, I’ve learned about it in therapy sessions so I try to question these feelings when I have them, try to remind myself that there are grey areas, that there are other ways of thinking. Sometimes it works and I can calm myself down by thinking of the other explanations for things, but I’m aware that splitting will probably always be in my personality and I just have to learn to deal with it as best as I can. Not everything is black and white, in fact it rarely is. I just have to keep reminding myself of that.
Hope you are all well. X