Favourite people

What can I say about the BPD sufferers favourite person? As a sufferer myself I had no idea about favourite people. When I learned about them it was like a light had been switched on, it all made perfect sense. I’ve always had intense friendships. I become attached to certain people very easily and quickly. But they tend to burn brightly for a while and then fizzle out. Something usually happens that results in cutting a person from my life completely. Whenever this happens it is deeply distressing for me. I tend to grieve for the loss of a favourite for many months or sometimes years. My BPD makes it hard to trust, it makes me terrified of abandonment. So having a favourite person can be a minefield.

The depth of adoration that can be thrust upon a person can sometimes be overwhelming for them. It isn’t always easy to understand how someone can feel so much for them. Although favourite people can be a partner, it isn’t always so. It makes sense when you consider that it is a different kind of love. It can be as all encompassing as romantic love, it can be butterflies and a desperate need to spend time with them. In the past I have mistaken the love for a favourite person with romantic love. It’s easy to do, and can cause serious issues in a relationship if you’re not careful. It’s not always easy to cope with. I find it easier to just go with it. Try to enjoy the sensations and the closeness you feel to another person. Sometimes you may need to reign it in a bit because you are being a tad too intense, but someone true to you will understand that you can’t always contain your emotions.

I have had various favourite people in my life. Some of these relationships have failed to last the tests of time for one reason or another, but after the dust has settled I am thankful for all of them.


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