I wonder if anybody knows how alone I feel? Especially the last few weeks. I usually quite like being alone. It gives me time to listen to music which I love to do. But at the moment I just feel so detached from everyone. I have a good support network, a lot of people don’t, so it feels wrong talking about it. But I’ve come to understand that when you are ill you are alone in the world. You become so lost inside your own head that nobody can reach in there and get you out. It’s like walking around with a hole in your guts and not knowing what it would take to fill it. I guess people would say quite rightly that it’s me who needs to fill that hole. But how can you when you’ve had it so long? I can be knee deep in conversation and still feel totally alone, which is probably how a lot of you feel too.
Published by Abominable Bell Blog
I am at the tail-end of my thirties, starting afresh as a singleton, moving into my own place by myself for the first time in my life, all while navigating life after lockdowns and living with Borderline Personality Disorder. This blog will be my journal. Some little bits about me to get you started. I love Godzilla, pizza, animals (except frogs), reading and vodka. View all posts by Abominable Bell Blog