After a night out

Im trying to be better. Im trying to be more open, I’ve been difficult and cruel. I’ve been dark and unyielding, I’ve been mean. Sometimes people ask for the truth but don’t want really want the truthful answer. Sometimes people want the scripted, easy answers. I want the people in my life to be as honest and open as me. This isn’t always the case. I want people to be able to rely on me, come to me, when they have any issues. They don’t. Am I too hot to handle? Is my diagnosis of BPD so difficult to come to terms with that it makes me unapproachable? I don’t know, but it sure feels like it right now.

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