I don’t know how I feel right now. I had a boozy weekend in Wales with friends and now I’m back to normality. Don’t get me wrong I need the recovery time but now I’m back I have this empty feeling. I know emptiness is a normal feeling with BPD individuals and you would think that empty is a better feeling than misery but it’s not. You know where you stand with misery, you can soothe it in a variety of ways. But empty? How do you deal with that? I’ve felt it so many times over the years and I still don’t know how to handle the absence of emotions.
The weekend threw up a lot of questions for me. I heard things and was told things that have sat uneasily on my chest ever since. I know I need to sort a few things out but I don’t know when I will or even if I will.
Listening to Sigur Ros- Hoppipola