Today I am isolating. I know it’s not healthy, I know it’s because I am particularly unwell today, I know the logical reasons behind it. I’m doing it anyway. I’m disassociated. It’s like watching the world from spirit. I’m in pain. Self harm comes from a desperate need to feel anything different from what you are currently experiencing, it’s funny I remember the classic parent line “If you don’t stop crying I’ll give you something to cry about” How true that is now. The truth is I’d give anything to stop this now. For some magic pill. Instead, I isolate, only today it’s all like a dream. Nothing matters today. I wish I knew more BPD people, just one would do. Someone who knew the intensity, who knew the intensity of a life lived with this particular brand of crazy.
Published by Abominable Bell Blog
I am at the tail-end of my thirties, starting afresh as a singleton, moving into my own place by myself for the first time in my life, all while navigating life after lockdowns and living with Borderline Personality Disorder. This blog will be my journal. Some little bits about me to get you started. I love Godzilla, pizza, animals (except frogs), reading and vodka. View all posts by Abominable Bell Blog