The early bitch catches the vodka

I got here even earlier than usual due to easy traffic and a prompt Uber driver. It’s a weird one this week as I haven’t thought about what I’m going to write at all this week so I will just pen whatever comes to my head right now.
As a 38 year recent singleton I haven’t been interested in the dating world at all so far. I need a period of single time where I can learn and grow. One of the things I have noticed is that my first major relationship break-up when I was in my early to mid 20s, which included a diamond ring as well, never affected the way I thought about my appearance. I didn’t worry about it any more than I did normally. The difference now is noticeable. I’m far rounder these days, I have a few greys on my temples when I can’t be arsed to dye them when they pop up. Also my face is different. Yes, my mirror image is older, my skin less taut; but as someone who has always struggled with my complexion it’s good if it doesnt have spots. Thing is, my face is different because I am a very different person now. I swear you can see the signs of severe, enduring mental illness on my face. I think fortune tellers would be able trace the lines with their fingers in the same way they do palms, but there’s no prince in my future, and I’m not kissing any frogs. Today was the first time I felt like a clown in my make-up and as I’m writing this in my usual place at the Tav, I am still wearing it regardless. I usually like it, so I’m going to ignore my inner bully and just rock it.


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