I am going to level with you. I like to keep my blog upbeat if I can, and because this is a little swerve from the normal course of things I figured I’d warn you.

My truth then in

3…
2…
1…

I will never be well. It’s not that I am being pessimistic, it’s not that I am down at the moment, it’s not that I don’t want it enough.

For me, for whatever sanity remains, I must admit it to myself and you guys.

I am instead learning new skills to live with the beast within. Well let’s not call it a beast, after all it is far more like a scrawny, humpbacked, bitter little person trying to keep me prisoner by whispering it’s bile in my ears all the time.

I am learning then. I’m growing. I’m learning how to put that little imp in its box more often. I’m learning to challenge the opinions I have that are problematic, mainly relating to loyalty.

But most of all? I’m trying my best.
Trying my best to live in a world that makes me so sad, every single day of my little life.
Trying so hard to be grateful for that life.

In a world that hurts like hell, I’m kicking it in the shins as much as possible.

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