You Haven’t Got To Hide Yourself Away

Hi guys welcome to Wednesday’s post

Occasionally when I am out and about I don’t know what to talk about. Nothing really springs to mind immediately and so I have a backup note pad on my phone with possible things I could chat about for a bit. Anyway that’s where I saw that I had at some written down ‘Everyone is different’. Well no shit! It is as I’m sure you’ll agree a very broad phrase, and I don’t know what I was thinking when I wrote it down. But I’m going to have a guess and see how we get on.

We all know that every person is different as we’ve all gathered by now. There are going to be people who you agree and disagree with on things and that’s a good thing. After all it would be pretty boring without alternative opinions, especially as I have a particular fondness for a debate.

But as your neurodiverse friends will tell you if you don’t already know, this can be a challenge.

Everyone gets offended by something at some point. It’s not a neurodiverse only thing. But some of us will feel offended more often; some of us will take an alternate opinion as a slight on ourselves, our personalities. This is because some of us human beings feel things more deeply than others. Some of us are quick to react badly to provocation, some people react aggressively, some people get upset.
Depending on how you feel at that moment can determine the reaction.

This is why it is important to know people before you start getting into things that can be particularly emotive.

I spent so long, especially when I worked in an office, treading carefully over the personalities, not making any ripples in the water. Let me tell you it made my work life miserable. The trouble with a close knit environment like that is you show up every day with total strangers. Nobody in that room really knew anyone else at all, and nobody tried to change it. It was all about getting the most points on the board at the end of the day. Anybody that challenged the status quo – i.e me – was shunned.

I’m not cutthroat, I certainly won’t force customers to buy shit they don’t need, and I will spend as much time is necessary with someone that needs my help. That was not conducive to the happiness of my employer (A major bank) and therefore I was ignored.

As someone who was quiet and kept my head down, I differed from my colleagues. I’m not saying that they were all horrible people, they just weren’t my tribe. I wasn’t made to sit behind a desk and sell car insurance.

So, yes, people are different. We won’t fit in with everyone and that’s ok, but I guess what I’m trying to do in this post, apart from the obvious rambling; is to say there are people who will fit you perfectly. I have found mine, but it took until my 30’s. I thought I’d found them many times before then, but things change.

My tribe is certainly not perfect. We are all fuck ups in our own way and that’s kind of what makes it beautiful to me. I love people who aren’t afraid to be authentic. Flaws are part of what makes us interesting. I’ve never craved perfection and that’s lucky because nobody ever is.

So my final thoughts are simple as always. Embrace your differences, argue with kindness if you can, and don’t hide yourself in the shadows otherwise no-one will find you in the dark.

Love to you all

Steph

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