I had been doing so well. The trouble with BPD is that it always finds a way to remind you it’s still there, it may get buried deep sometimes, but it always finds a way back to the surface. I know full well it lies. I know the things it tells me are wrong, that my decision making is skewed. But it still hurts, it still forces me to punish myself. It knows all my weaknesses, it knows exactly what to say to upset me. And yet, I still let it in. I give it free rein in my mind to tell me all these things. Horrible things. You see, it has been a constant of my life for so long, I guess I feel like I owe it a chance to speak. After all it’s outlasted so many voices in my life. So I’m going to let it talk. Just for a while.
Published by Abominable Bell Blog
I am at the tail-end of my thirties, starting afresh as a singleton, moving into my own place by myself for the first time in my life, all while navigating life after lockdowns and living with Borderline Personality Disorder. This blog will be my journal. Some little bits about me to get you started. I love Godzilla, pizza, animals (except frogs), reading and vodka. View all posts by Abominable Bell Blog