I’m bad at this

I’m bad at this. Trying to brave face it through so much physical pain is one thing and I haven’t been successful. But trying to brave face it through emotional pain is far harder, and I am at a loss of how to try and fix myself. I can use all of the skills I have been taught, I can practice being mindful, I can keep a journal. All of those things mean nothing when all you want to do is sit in it. Nobody tells you that in therapy. Nobody tells you how difficult it is sometimes to just put one foot in front of the other. To lift your head when it’s comfortably nestled on your chest. The colour leaves your life and you didn’t even notice when it left. I’m so tired.

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